so, i'm trying to figure out which colleges i should look at. my mom thinks i should be looking at womens colleges. but i'm not sure i really want to go to a school with only girls. i mean, yeah, i like girls. duh. but i dont know if i could handle living with only women. that's just way too much estrogen. plus, i love hanging out with guys. but, a womens college is likely to have more dating options.

so, what do i do? give up hanging out with guy friends and take a whole lot of estrogen so i could possibly find the girl of my dreams, or go to a school with less of a possibility of that, but be able to have closer relationships with guys, and way less drama?

....

stupid college.

referring to the title, one of my friends said this, and i laughed, both because it's true for her, and because it's just a funny sentence. plus, when i first started coming out, i was with some friends and one said, "i was under the impression that she (me) was straight" to which i replied, "yeah...so was i..." oh.....back in the good ole days.

on a completely different note, i am upset that northern California is having a heat wave, while here in Israel it's been cold and gloomy looking for the past week. i thought it would clear up once Bush left, but no such luck. oh well.

oh, the beauty of Purim. all the guys are in drag, all the girls are dressed like sluts or guys. and everyone is drunk, cuz it's the law. oh how i love it.

isn't that terrifying?

i'm scared. i'm terrified. but i dont know of what. and i dont know how to ask for help. because i dont know what i need help with. but i think i need it. i'm just too scared to find it. and that's scary.

so, i've been at camp for 4 weeks now, and this is the first, and probably only time i'll have internet access for the next 3 weeks. i miss all of you like crazy. and sorry to nydolls1973. i kept meaning to write you, but the only time i have to write letters is also the only time i have to sleep. however, i have massive amounts of free time today, so that will totally happen. and you'll get a big long letter from me. i promise. please dont hate me.

my camp kicks ass though. we went to, and marched in the San Fransisco Gay Pride Parade. lots of old naked guys. disgusting. and yesterday we walked in the San Fransisco AIDS walk. it was incredible.

i miss you all terribly. i have tons more to tell y'all, which will happen when i get home. so send me pretty comments and pm's, cuz it'll make me happy when i get home

LOVE!!!!!

i leave for camp tomorrow. i'll be gone for 7ish weeks. i'll miss you all something fierce. i'm stoked for camp, but it's weird there. no asians, and no gay kids. very few anyway. i'm not asian, but my school is 70-80% asian, and i just like having them around. i'm not used to white people.

and the lack of gay kids is pretty annoying too. though they are pretty liberal...maybe i can kidnap one. who knows?

i am going to bring a composition notebook with me, just in case. if i do write anything, i'll post it when i come home so you can see what i wrote. and if there's internet access, then i'll try to log on and say hi.

if there isnt, it'd be cool if some of y'all wanted to send me a letter. that's the main form of communication. and if you do, i promise to write back. if you want the address, just PM me and i'll send you the info.

I love you all. You're all amazing people and i am really going to miss you.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
(if you cant see those, they're supposed to be hearts)

http://bp3.blogger.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/RmtTS2L7cXI/AAAAAAAABAE/nJYKnveA1HI/...

seriously. can someone teach me how to put up pictures like a normal person?

so, i was kinda freaking out about my friend having a girlfriend. but, i think i realized what was wrong.

I've known her since before she was born. we grew up together. i helped her learn to read and multiply. i actually taught her how to brush her teeth. she's always been like a younger sister to me, even though she's only about 8 months younger. but now she's all grown up, and i think that just scares me a little. cuz if she's grown up, then i guess that makes me grown up too.

plus, I'm probably a little jealous that she has a girlfriend and i don't. but still. i feel kind of a lot better now that i figured it out.

also, i didn't get a D in Chem. i got a C. which is amazing news. so there!

school is finally over. i have only one more day left, but that's only for check-out, so each of my classes are only 30 min each and are pretty much solely for signing yearbooks. finals are over, thinking is done, and i can finally wind down.

it's been an interesting year. this school year, i believe my crush count is...1 from summer, 2 from school this year. (my friends and i do this at the end of every school year. we count crushes. i don't know why we do. but we do.)

first final of the week in about an hour. world history. school is almost over. baccalaureate is tonight. gotta sing for my pretty seniors. that'll be fun.

i'm bored. finals suck. i need to have a normal conversation with someone other than myself. or my parents, whose sole purpose seems to be to annoy me to no end.

only 3 days of finals, then check-out, and then i'm done. please save me.

someone talk to me!

so, there's this girl girl i've known since before she was born, grown up with, and see often. She's like a sister to me. i came out to her, and the rest of our Girl Scout troop this summer at our annual camping trip. and now, she was at my house for our monthly family Shabbat dinner, and she mentions these little things about her girlfriend.

GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! what the hell? when did this happen? why did i not know about this? i mean, i sorta kinda suspected, considering the way we acted together, but i never really thought she was gay. she always seemed uber-straight to me. but she was talking about how she went to prom with her girlfriend, was at her girlfriend's house before she came here, how she had kissed her outside the Jesus store.

i'm sorta in shock about it. everyone i know seems to be gay, or questioning. it's weird though, cuz i used to sort of like the fact that i was alone in it, and i think now i resent her because she's questioning/experimenting/gay as well. and i hate that i resent her, cuz she's my little sister, my friend, and i love her.

i'll be leaving for camp in about 3 weeks. i'll be gone for 7 weeks. i'm terrified. not so much about being at camp, cuz i love camp. it's pretty much all i talk about, and my non-camp-friends dont get it. but what am i afraid of? i'm scared to leave this site for that long.

When i'm feeling depressed or upset or freaked out, or excruciatingly happy, i come to Oasis, and i read about how everyone here is feeling. i know i dont comment most of the time, but i read pretty much everything y'all post. you post it, i read it.

It scares me that i'll be gone for so long without having y'all to fall back on when i cant handle the world. besides, there's only one other LGBT kid at my camp, and s/he's not even coming this year. i mean, i dont know him that well, but at least then i'm not tagged as "the gay kid" then there's two.

and if i am tagged as "the gay kid" how will i be able to deal with it without y'all to turn to?

hahaha. omg. yes.

A pair of gay flamingos have adopted an abandoned chick, becoming parents after being together for six years.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070521/od_afp/britainanimalsgay;_ylt=Aj6uc...