I am okay. I just want to send this out into the world to someone else. Someone I can be more honest with.

It seems so strange to think that I am getting closer to B. I always think of M as my best friend but sometimes I just cannot talk to her, like I have a mental block stopping me, that isn't there with B. It isn't bad that I am close to B because I do love her very much it is just so stupid why I can't talk to M. But now that I am no longer in love with her, which seems strange to say now and mean it more completely than I ever would, all the love I had for her, it's gone. I still love M so much, but being in love with her just added this whole other level that I never thought would go away. But it is. So why can't I talk to her? This is the girl who I told I was sexually confused and that I was in love with her at the same time and who never once acted differently or stopped caring. I just wish we were alone because I want to tell her my secrets but we are never alone. Damn it.
*It feels weird referring to my friends as B and M, it reminds me of Gossip Girl.
*I sometimes feel like I don't belong.
*I am going to Italy in one month for the semester. I am so scared but I am excited.
*I wish things had worked out with M. Everyone loves a fairy tale. Especially me.