ADVICE PLEASEEE ASAP!
i broke with my gf about a week ago and i guess she took it pretty harshly cuz i got a chance to talk to her today and she confessed to me that she cut herself, she showed me her leg which had several long cuts on it. She told me she would never do it again but sadly i dont believe her. I told her to please get sum help but im not sure if she will, i also told her i would be here for her when i could and i wanted to help. The thing is i have no clue how to. If i report this inciddent her family would find out that shes gay and shes talkn to me, which she isnt supposed to. Im afraid it would only make her life worse and cause more problems for her. I am really worried and scared for her, & i love & care for her very much..any kind of advice would great
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hmm..
alright. so. the first thing i did was put myself in your shoes..and i kinda freaked out, so i understand where you're coming from. then i put myself in her shoes. hmm..then that's where things got blurry. so the best advice i can give you would be to trust her and to talk about it if she wants to. then that also depends on what kind of personality she has. if she randomly brings it up then she wants you to talk to her about it. that's the hard part..trying to understand. so keep making it clear that someone does care (you ) but also don't let her mistake it that you guys still have a chance at dating..cuz that could make more problems. okay. the biggy is showing her that people do care and that there are alternatives to self-inflicted pain. hope that helped. good luck.
Hmm...
Are there other mutual friends that know about you two dating, etc? I'd tell them...
If your breakup is a factor in all this, you may not be the best person to try and help her through it, if she still has feeling, etc. Mutual friends would be better.
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eh, no clue.
Sorry, I wish I knew what to tell you. If you figure it out, PLEASE tell me, i have a friend whos started cutting again, and I have no idea how to help her.
"Dawn must DIE!!"
Fallon, after watching 'Once More With Feeling' of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
i'd probably go talk to some
i'd probably go talk to some adult that knew what they were doing but has t hat whole "confidentiality" promise not to tell parents.
If she's cutting because you
If she's cutting because you two broke up, and she's made this clear...letting her know you care about her is good, but she needs someone she trusts who isn't you.
"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire
if there's any possibility
if there's any possibility of this, find an adult (teacher maybe?) who you trust, who knows you and/or her, and talk to them. convince her to tell her parents, about the cutting, not you.
you're right. she does need help. i've been where she is...where the pain's so huge, you have to let it out, and that knife looks so attractive. she needs help, professional would be best. unless you think that her parents would throw her out, or hurt her, tell them. they can get her the help she needs, and hopefully work through it all. maybe find a way to tell them annonymously...or get someone else to tell them (who she's allowed to talk to).
Don't let this go too long. Maybe she will stop cutting, but the underlying problem will remain.
In all likelyhood, if you tell anyone about this, she will be very angry with you. She'll be hurt, and she may not want to have anything to do with you. But you have to tell someone anyway. There are somethings that we cannot keep secret, and this is one of them.
*hug* it's horribly hard to be strong for her. i know....if you ever need advice, or just a friend, PM me, please. i'll be happy to help.
Bulldyke
"this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart" e.e. cummings
We both still have feelings
We both still have feelings for eachother, were juss in a shitty situation where were seprated a lot so its kinda difficlut to have a normal relationship. She's not willing to tell any of our friends either and she doesnt wanna talk to sumone. I wanna believe she wont do it again but idk i mean i've heard cutting is sorta addictive =/ which scares me more...
We both still have feelings
We both still have feelings for eachother, were juss in a shitty situation where were seprated a lot so its kinda difficlut to have a normal relationship. She's not willing to tell any of our friends either and she doesnt wanna talk to sumone. I wanna believe she wont do it again but idk i mean i've heard cutting is sorta addictive =/ which scares me more...