I may be a little drunk so this might not make full sense, but that girl I have been talking about is sitting next to me, doing her homework, rocking out to her music, and she looks so beautiful. I try not to stare as she sings her songs and punches numbers into her calculator. I listen to the song "Hallelujah" by John Cale and I imagine, knowing this will never happen but let my sad miserable soul wish for a moment she was mine. She is perfect. If I could ask for the perfect girl, someone who is smart and funny, silly and beautiful, she would fit the criterion magically. Love is such a weird thing because I feel that no matter how hard you try, you will always end up loving someone more than they love you, and then vice versa, the person that loves you the most, you will not love, at least not as much. She is definitely the best friend I have ever had. She cares for me, and not because I care for her, but because she is truly interested in who I am and who I want to be. I don't know who I am but that doesn't matter, she still cares. And I sit her as she sniffles and punches numbers into her calculator and I wish, oh I wish, that she would look at me like I look at her, love me like I love her. I am resigned to be that friend, the one who keeps her feelings inside but is really driven mad by the feelings I hold inside.

My buzz is almost gone, but the feelings I have for her, will last forever.