Now I get it why old oasis users would come back and write here, even if they haven't for months or years even.. because I'm doing the exact same thing. I think it "centers" me. I need my fix maaan hehe.

So the thing is, I'm possibly going a bit nuts. Not on a huge scale, like a pump me up with drugs and strap me down sorta way. Just like.. I feel restless, frustration in my gut, mind won't stop going over every bluddy thing in my life. Extra sensitive emo days are here to stay, like the time of the month feelings that won't go away. (I'm a poet and I didn't know it) Then not giving a rat's ass and then suddenly over-caring about things.

Okay.. so you get my intelligent thorough description of the mood I'm in right now. Feel free to let me know if you can relate.

Most of the coming out stuf is done. It's been over a while ago now. Went down a treat, everything was sweet. (could've been a rapper but my rhmyes just get crapper) *cringe* Okay stop me now. But now I'm waiting. I sent a coming out letter to my cousin who is "away". Now this guy is like my big brother right, very genuine nice guy.. complete homophobe though. So just a little anxious about his reaction.. He'll be back from being "away" in 16 days. I hope he gives me at least some sorta reassuring phone call before then. I feel like the shit might hit the fan this time round since every other coming out experience has gone down real smooth for me so I'm just preparing myself for that usual hurdle that always follows after things have been so frickin' swell. (story of my life!)

On a lighter note, I went out for dinner with the rellies last nite. Would've potentially been pretty boring besides the decent free meal I scored.. but hello christmas bonus, our table scored the very cute waitress! Gay? Very possible. Me being creepy? Very possible. Naaah I wasn't chucking out one liners and winking at her, religiously writing my email address on napkins or breathing heavily. Nothing like that. Just smiling and perving and analysing (as us homos are known to do). Thanks to my uncles embarassing ways (the expectation of getting superior service than anyone else in the restaurant), she ended up talking to us about what she could say in Japanese. She was very femme, the hair and personality and mannerisms just had gay written all over it though. I'm pretty sure we traded the 'family' look though.. but that could totally be me being creepy again. It was nice to have that 'floaty' feeling again, even if it was over something little and insignificant.

There ya go. That's a bit of the stuf I needed to get off my brain. I reckon I'll be okay, I'm sure my weird mood will pass.. and if it doesn't, I will most definetely be back! Woah don't get too excited there soldier.