What do you see when you look in the mirror?

I think I see my actual self as I appear to the world…yet still am not quite satisfied, and I know I should be. Oh yeah, my issue revolves around increasing fitness. Years ago, I didn’t care a whit about diet or how often I exercised, but that slowly began to change throughout my final years of high school and into college. Today I lead a regimented life although I doubt that my efforts are accomplishing anything.

"There are your lumps? Hahaha. Inside a rock hard body as hard as a man’s? Not one ounce of feminine love handle-like curvature to be found."

I’m generally not one to care about appearances so what sort of hypocrite am I that I am not completely content with what I have? That I’m striving for a ridiculous elusive goal? When will I be satisfied?

Obviously there’s an underlying issue here.

Read one of my textbooks today by Rudolf Dreikurs. He has several pertinent points, and two of them stuck out immediately in light of what I wrote on here yesterday.

"But the main stumbling block in the way of our knowing and using our greatest inner resources is our lack of belief in our own strengths and abilities...We ourselves are our greatest problem. We must first make peace with ourselves"

Because it's human nature to yearn for freedom yet maintain shackled, deceive others and ourselves, and to be fraught with insecurities and doubt, this process is long and difficult. Many never reach a state of peace and struggle with their perceived deficiencies and notions of inferiority.

Although it's a continuous process of growth and discovery, I think I'm coming to fully believe in my value, my place, purpose, passion, love, life, whatever you want to call it. Trying.

Freedom. Equality.

It is our choices and the way in which we interact and react to our experiences that determine our path, ourselves; it's arguably our greatest strength- the ability to create meaning and through this meaning obtain a deeper appreciation and faith in life.

Encapsulated with a quote. "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."