I don't know exactly what all to say, because there's so much to say, and even so I don't know if I really want to take the time to say it all. If I did it might bother me more than it should.

I went to my good friends house yesterday. Me, him, and his cousin went on a romp through a creek nearby. We played on my computer, just myspace, facebook, and some ebaumsworld.

Later in the night he asked me again, and I don't know why and that bothers me, wheather I was gay or bi. I said, quote, I'm pretty much gay. He asked me if I could still fuck a woman and I said yeah, but it would be hard. I mean it is true, any gay guy could fuck a woman, it would just be really hard to keep it up. I believe that anyways.

This scares me the most because I thought we had settled this. I don't know why he would ask me, for a third time, wheather I'm gay or bi. It makes me think even more that he would have a problem with me just being gay. It makes me think even more that he is still too young and incapable of having the open mind neccesary for this kind of understanding.

It scares me because I don't want to lose him and that pisses me off the most because I think it's completely retarded that I'm so afraid of time taking away those that are important to me. I mean why can't I be acceptable with what I'm getting and not worry about the end of it all? It's just completely retarded how I apparently work like that.

Anyway I had a great time. But it appears that things are changing, and that sooner or later, things will never be the same.